Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Hokay, so....I say "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" very frequently throughout my day instead of saying "Jesus Christ!" or "Oh my Gawddd." I don't know why, it's just fun to say. Sometimes I say it in Spanish (Jesus, Maria y Joseph) just to mix it up. But I said it today and it got me thinking about my relationship with religion. PS: It's a rocky one. If you ask what is my religion, I'll answer simply and say "I'm agnostic." Which basically means whatever I want it to mean. That's what I like about it. I don't have to submit myself or pledge my allegiance to or devote my life to some supreme power. I don't believe in "God". I don't believe in Heaven or Hell. I've never read the bible all the way through because I believe it was written by a total nut job. I believe in the Big Bang Theory and in Evolution. But then people say "so you're just an Athiest!" Which I am not. I don't believe that God created the world yet I do believe there's some force whether it be spiritual or karmic or SOMETHING that makes things pan out the way they do. I'm an agnostic because I refuse to put all my trust in "someone" (God, Allah, Buddah, whomever) who can let such horrible things happen in this world. Murder, rape, suicide, volcanoes, nuclear wars, natural disasters, diseases, etc. There's an amazing quote from the movie A Walk to Remember that hits it home for me when it comes to the topic of religion and/or belief in a God-

Jamie: Without suffering there would be no compassion.
Landon: Yeah, well tell that to those who suffer.

The whole idea of people "paying" for their sins just doesn't fly with me. People make mistakes. Who gave God the power to differentiate what is right and what is wrong? It's just such a slippery slope. In the movie John Q, it's about a guy who's insurance doesn't cover his son's heart transplant, so he takes this hospital hostage until they agree to do the transplant because otherwise his son will die. Was it right? Depends on who you ask and what they believe. Was it worth it? Most definitely. I just don't understand religion and it's influence on right and wrong. Every religion has it's own set of rules! What are you supposed to follow? Can you be half christian, half muslim, and half amish? But if you do that, aren't you sinning and betraying whatever Gods so they comdemn you to wherever they say you're going after you die? It's just all too much.

Also, it's complete bs in Catholicsm that you just go "Hey God, my bad for raping and murdering those two girls. It'll never happen again. Promise." and you're off the hook? No no no. That's fucked up. So you can sin, but as long as you say sorry, it's cool. Just the hypocrisy of it all. So wishy washy. I've actually read countless studies and most murderers are actually among the most religious people. Ironic much?

And don't get me started on baptisms/confirmations. According to Catholics, I'm going to Hell. (Haha, scratch that, probably according to every religion i'm going to their version of "Hell" just for the face I am an agnostic) I was never baptized and I never accepted Christ as my savior *BOO HOO*. I appreciate my parents for letting my choose my own belief systems instead of shoving my face into a basin of dirty tap water before I could even talk. How dare people think because they believe in some God that they think they have the power to condemn me. RUDE, SELF-RIGHTEOUS BASTARDS.

Now I'm not just bashing Catholicism, I just don't agree with religions period. In the Quaran, it's totally cool to stone a woman to death if she shows too much skin. WHAT THE FUCK. How could anyone thinks that's okay. But because someone incredibly sadistic and probably completely insane wrote the Quaran, they just decided to throw that in there. Okay, new tangent.

I'll be the first to admit that the only time I prayed when I was younger was to ask God to get me a new barbie or a new bike or the lates Gigapet (damn I miss those). That's what I thought he was for. I still think that's what God's for except I know I won't get those things and it's completely pointless to pray for anything. Just how people pray their whole lives to keep their families safe and healthy and then someone gets cancer. Hello God? Where were ya then? When people lose their jobs and are starving on the street, where'd God go? When Hurricane Katrina hit, why didn't God use his almighty power to push that hurricane the opposite way?

I'm just sick and tired of some people who think they're on this pedestal compared to me because they're religious and I'm not. And I mean, I guess they have that power over me because they know that I'm most definitely going to Hell? More room in Heaven for them I guess. I did the whole Christian camp thing when I was younger, where we went to mass, and read the bible, and prayed, and it's just not me. And that's fucking okay and I love that my beliefs are MINE and not ones that were forced upon me.

I get that this post is very controversial. Religion is a controversial subject, as most beliefs are. But they're my beliefs and take them as you will. It's nice to straighten things out, get my opinions all out there. But I dare you to say to my face that I'm headin straight to "hell in a hand basket" (as my grandma would say). Double dog dare you, actually ;)