I don't know why I started this blog. Maybe out of shear boredom or perhaps I have something to say. I doubt I will stick to this though. I've bought countless journals and diaries that have about three entries in them. But maybe I have matured and can actually stick to something for once in my life. I am still astonished at people who work out every day or those who save their paychecks and instead of spend them. I can only hope one day I will have that kind of will power.
Anyway, its Christmas Eve and usually we have a good 5-12 inches of snow on the ground in Kenosha, Wisconsin by now. But instead, I look out the window and see all of the snow melted away and rain puddles in it's place. How dreary and depressing. I was in the Christmas spirit until my winter wonderland turned into a rainy mess. Thankfully, listening to Christmas music everyday for the past month helped me get past this weather speed bump. I don't know what it is about Christmas music. It just makes me smile, and sometimes makes me cry when someone outstanding sings my favorite songs. Leanne Rhymes, Josh Groban, David Phelps, and NSYNC have the best xmas albums in my opinion. This year is different then year's past though. It's my first year back and my mother's most unprepared christmas to date. I basically know everything I am getting already and surprisingly I'm not too torn up about it. I used to love the excitement of opening up presents. But now that I'm getting more and more giftcards and not actual presents, the excitement has faded. I just can't wait for the after christmas shopping.
Oh p.s. I finished my first semester of college. And I passed with flying colors. All A's and B's, even though I am pretty sure its because I am in a theatre conservatory that I did so well...I feel indifferent about my classes. I guess I sort of felt pushed? That is a lie. I felt that I was mentally stimulated but not as much as I thought I would be. The only reason I was stressed out was because I procrastinated, but that is nothing new. I hope that I will be able to take more non-theatre classes in my upcoming years of school. I miss learning new things that pertained to the world, not just the world of theatre. I miss taking history and psych and biology (my absolute favorite classes in high school) AND FRENCH, wow do I miss taking French. It's not like they can tell me, "no, we don't want you to learn anything else!" I liked taking advanced classes in high school and feeling well rounded. I have found that my goal while I am in college is to be a sponge and learn everything about theatre as I can but fit in time to learn about other subjects that interest me as well.
Other than the classes, I'm incredibly happy with the school I've picked. I mean, I live in fucking CHICAGO. I don't think I could imagine a better place to be in college. And I think I have found lifelong friends. In high school, I feel like I wasted too much time and energy on disliking people I didn't know or caring about if others liked me. I threw all of that out of the window when I went to college and I've found that I am very drama free because of it. Although I'm not the best of friends with everyone, I try to be nice and open to everyone. But sometimes you click with people and sometimes you don't, that doesn't mean you have to totally shut them out of your college experience. I've found people who I can genuinely talk to about things, and even though I haven't opened up completely, I know I will eventually. I don't think I could have survived my first semester of college without one classmate, Ryan Frostig. He's the most eccentric, loveable, GAY man I've ever met. And I don't think anyone has ever made me giggle as hard as he does. I need people like that in my life, people who are honest, and authentic and sincere. Without him, I think it would have taken me a much longer time to let my true self out and become close to other people. I am truly grateful to have met him and I have a feeling we actual will be friends forever. On top of that, I've met many other good friends who are all guys surprisingly. I went from having such a close knit group of girls to having all guy friends? I mean, I like it. But I miss my girlfriends, and not that I want to find girls to replace them, but next semester I hope to find some girls I can confide in. I am just extremely happy with the friendships I've made and the absence dramatic bs. that seemed to consume my life all through high school.
I feel its necessary for this blog to be uber long since I haven't really put my thoughts into words in quite a long time.
Maybe I will keep this up. It is exhilarating to look back at my experiences and basically just type what comes to mind. Well, I should probably get some sleep since "santa" is coming to bring me a camera, scarf, and winter coat that I hand picked out ;) Happy Holidays loves.
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