Insomniac much?

So, it's 3:30ish am and I'm still awake and I'm running on like 5 hours of sleep, but I'm not tired. I physically cannot go to sleep. I don't get the issue. I wish I could go to sleep since I have a voice lesson in t-minus 6 hours. I wish I could just go to sleep right now and have a supa awesome dream. I haven't been able to remember a dream in a while. I've been having a lot of those dreams where you like jolt yourself awake and I always wonder what the fuck was goin on that I had to wake up like someone taser-ed me. Hopefully I can remember one and I can write a whole pointless blog about it haha

Anyway, so I just finished this one midterm paper and it's 22 pages. 22 pages? I never would have thought that I could spew nonsense onto 22 pages, but I did it :) The problem is, why did I just do that? I basically said the exact same thing over and over. I just do not get why teacher's assign things that are so completely pointless and this could easily have been like an 8 page paper. I get that repetition is a recall device but when I am repeating what I think it is getting me no where. I thought it the first time and the second time and the third time and oh look, I'm still thinking it BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF IT. Reiterating things just irritates me when I'm spending hours upon hours doing something that I gained little knowledge from. PLUS I'm a musical theatre major, not a composition major, so...what's the problem? Give me a song, a monologue, and a dance class and I'm set. Just let me be. Don't burden me papers I'm never going to think twice about after I turn it in. Okay, rant done. Onto the next one? Just kidding, kind of.

I noticed something today, I'm always humming and/or singing. And I mean ALWAYS. That must get pretty annoying to people around me. I mean, I probably should have realized it a bit earlier but today I was in the elevator at school and this kid was in there and I hummed like 4 notes and I look over and he's rolling his eyes. My first thought: RUDE, my second though: my bad... Sometimes I'm just not aware of how loud I am probably and I literally just do it as a habit. I understand that I like to sing but maybe some people just aren't in the mood to hear it. Lesson learned today=shut up sometimes ha.

I feel like I'm trying to find excuses to blog. I never know what is the proper reason to just start to write a blog. I think this is like my outlet. I rarely ever just talk about shit that's going on in my life, I'm not that kinda gal. And it's weird because I'm emotional, but not around people. I just don't like to go to people with stuff I think is serious because then it becomes their problem and I don't want to drag anyone into anything. Blah, but I'm havin a rough go right now. I'm so happy it's been sunny because I NEED the sun to be in a good mood it seems like. I overthink everything that is going on in my life and I just get SO emotionally drained but then I look out the window or walk outside and see the sun. So that's been real nice. It just helps to relieve some stress and get stuff out there by letting it go via the interweb, ya know? Ha that sounds so sad.

Ok, I'm almost done. You know what I love? Other than riffing, is hanging out with totally chill people. I just like laughing with supa fly kids. And I've met some pretty cool ones this semester. This semester is so different from last semester, but not in a good or bad way, just way different. Last semester was all about getting to know everyone and trying to find people you click with and basically was a free for all for everyone in our class to hook up haha. But now it's just hangin out and laughing and I'm lovinnnnn it. Yeah, sitting in english 102 sucks, and writing playwriting midterms blow, and even getting up for class seems hard, but this semester (although more stressed) I feel more relaxed in a way? If that makes sense? Maybe the atmosphere just feels more relaxed now that we know each other and we're not all uppity about everything. I'm almost done with my freshman year in college. Where the fuck did the year go? That's what I'm sayin. I literally felt like I started school yesterday. Still don't know what my summer plans are which is freakin me out but I'll figure it out eventually...hopefully. Today's just been a refreshing and eye-opening day so that's my excuse for the blog. I'll try to stick with this better because I really like blogging for some odd reason. Well, peace up A-town down HA I remember when that was sooo in.

KBYE :)