Debbie Downer

Ok, I need to get into gear and get to this blog at least twice a week. I have a huge block of time right now so I thought I'd write a little something.

So in my Creative Process class today my teacher talked about self-image. And I'm not one of those people who obsess about what I eat or workout and I never want to become one. But I realized that I am pursuing a career where I am constantly going to be critiqued and judged and criticized about the way I look regardless of my talent. No wonder why so many actresses turn to drugs and crash diets to stay skinny, tabloids and most people, in general, are SO rude. They even chastise people who are obviously at a healthy weight and still say they're fat. Its like self-image has just turned into "how much do you weigh?" I think that there are more important things than weight that contribute to my self-image. Like I feel that my eyes are incredibly unique because they're almond shaped and hazel and my teeth are nice because I had braces. I don't know, it seems like everyone is so hung up on they're weight when there is so much more that makes up a person's image.

I feel like this blog is just going to be about everything that is bugging me at the present time. Oh well. Why are people so rude? Did the whole world just forget how to be humans? There are just some things you don't do, or things you are supposed to do. You don't make side comments after everything, especially when people are obviously not laughing at them. I'm just so sick of people voicing random comments that are rude or negative that they think are funny. It is so hard to focus when I hear a bird chirping in my ear after every sentence someone says. And another rude thing, I don't get how people can drop friends like they're yesterday's garbage. Like I know I haven't been friends with these people I met over first semester but I mean come on. I feel as though I was there for some people to talk to and thought we were close and then all of a sudden I don't exist? That is probably the most hurtful thing that anyone can do to me. I apparently wasted so much time being a good friend to some people.

I am just so sick of wasting things. Wasting time, money, energy, compassion, trust, etc. I feel like all I've been doing is wasting everything and the semester just started. And it is totally bringing me down. I can't focus. I'm so worried all the time. Something needs to change. I have too much going on right now to be so distracted. I need to GET IT TOGETHER PEOPLE. But I might need a little help from my friends. My real friends lol. Ah, so this super depressing blog has got to come to an end somewhere, hopefully I'll remember to keep up with this and my next posts will be positive. Peace out girl scout.