Bloop, bleep.

How do people see you?



Are you a jock, a bad boy, a rich popular girl, a geek, the weirdo? I was thinking about that today. Personally, I don't even know what I would stereotype myself as. I'm not rich, nor am I that popular. Popular in the sense of having a bunch of friends because I find that most of the "popular" people have friends that aren't really their friends, its more about quantity than quality. I would much rather have a few close friends who I can count on than a shit ton of random acquaintances. Am I a geek because I sometimes like to learn? Does a jock mean that you play a sport or you play a bunch of sports or does it simply mean you're athletic? I certainly do weird things at times, so am I a weirdo? I've asked people what they thought of me before they even met me, and most of the time they say, "Oh I thought you were a bitch." 1) That's just plain rude to make that assumption without talking/hanging out/getting to know someone. 2) None of them could explain why, they just said "I don't know, I just did." What kind of answer is that, how can you base anything off of it? I don't know what to do to change that assumption people have about me either, I mean, it's not like they gave me much to work with. But I would like to correct that sooner rather than later. I just don't understand how that could be the first impression I give. That just kind of erks me.

You know what's really hard? Not wearing your emotions on your face. My mom would always tell me, "Aja you better watch your eyes" because apparently you can tell exactly what I'm thinking by looking at my eyes? People know when I'm irritated, or sad, or excited, or lying because I cannot keep a straight face for the life of me. It's just really difficult. And most of the time, I don't even realize I'm doing it. If I hear a wrong note, or smell a bad smell, or try to tell a fib, I make a face about it even if I try not to. I envy people who can keep a stone face when someone is trying to make them laugh, but then again, that's kind of mean. You could confuse the hell out of people because they don't know what you're feeling. I guess it's a blessing and a curse?

This blog's really random. I'm terrible at keeping up with this. I don't want it to just be about things that irritate me and I feel like that's what it's turned into. Complain, complain, complain. Anyone who reads it will think I'm a big complainer. I don't like to complain about things to other people though because I think it's annoying when people complain to me. So maybe this is just my outlet for all of my frustrations? Who knows...let me try to think of something positive to write about.

AHA! I'm in the middle of a showcase right now where the freshman musical majors sing. I realized that our class really is fierce. We have a ton of talented kids in it and I think this showcase really does, well, showcase that. I know that a lot of us will go extremely far and hopefully I'll get to work in a show on Broadway with them someday. People are of course bashing other people's songs and acting choices and voices because what would musical theatre be without trash talk? I mean, there are songs that are "boring" but the songs themselves are genuine and I think all of them have something to say. Although during the rehearsal process I would get extremely annoyed with people's lack of focus and care for the whole showcase, I am extremely happy with the finished product and can't wait to open this weekend.

Whoo, go positivity :)